My Fight With Anxiety

Everything has to start somewhere. My story starts off with my journey with Anxiety. When I was 10 years old I was living in Alaska. At that time in my life, I was struggling with bullies. It got so bad that I left the school I was at and was homeschooled. At that time in my life, I remember always having stomach pain. It was not like the normal stomach pain, it was worse. During that time I would have these times of pure fear. In Alaska there are moose. They are large animals. I was extremely scared of them. Every time I would have to go outside I would scream because of the fear. I would just shut completely down and lose it. I would cry, have extreme stomach pain and have a pounding headache. Thiscountined for about 6 months. I got so used to it I thought it was normal. Then the final straw revealed everything I was struggling with for those sixth months.
I was on a retreat with my mom and about 12 other kids. It was late at night and I just lost it. I screamed and cried and just lost all control around my body. I completely embarrassed myself in front of all the people on the retreat but, I didn’t care. I wasn’t in control of my body. After that whole episode happened my mom knew something was not right with me. I went to the doctor and she made me go to a counselor.
I didn’t really think much about going to a counselor. During that time I learned what anxiety really is and how to cope with it. The way that I understand anxiety as the uncontrollable fear or worry. Anxiety made feel trapped. I felt like I was stuck in this cycle of fear and worry and I did not know my way out. My counselor helped me realize that when this “Anxiety episodes” do take place that coping skills can help me get untrapped. I went to counseling for a year. During that time I learned deep breathing, Squeezing a stress ball and many other coping skills. I also learned that you cannot keep your feeling bottled up inside.
After a year of going to counseling, we moved to Florida. I said goodbye to my counselor and did not go see another one till 3 years after that. I still struggle with anxiety to this day. But, I have learned how to cope with it. I know how to not feel trapped in the fear.
If you are diagnosed with anxiety it is not something that you should feel ashamed about. It is something to talk about. We all can work together to make Anxiety and Mental Health something that we need to talk about. We can erase the bad stigma towards Mental Health and fight for a Brighter Future. I am still fighting my anxiety battle. I have learned how to cope and work with my anxiety to make myself better and stronger.